This topic contains 6 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by 
cryingbuttrying 1 year, 11 months ago.
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Hi,
I lost my partner this year, she was amazing, she was my life. I am so lost without her.
Im fed up of pretending that I’m getting better when I’m not. During the day in front of people I’m fine and trying to be happy but Inside I’m struggling more each day.
I can’t talk to anyone anymore I just get angry when they say it will get better.
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I’m so sorry to hear this. If it’s not too personal to ask: did your partner leave or pass away?
Have you had any counselling at all? Both heartbreak and grief from death can sometimes seem impossible to get through alone.
When I lost a friend of mine who passed away suddenly I didn’t get help at the time and it definitely took me longer to heal. I wish I could go back and get help.
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They past away.
I’ve tried, I don’t think it working for me. It just makes me worse.
When anything happens I normal ignore my emotions but I can’t do that with this. They were my life.
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I think the thing with counselling is that it often takes time to work through issues, it’s not an overnight or over week/month fix. But it’s a safe space to air them and help your brain process by talking things through and enabling your mind to structure thoughts and feelings for you to be able t work through them.
Repressing emotions and feelings – although easier at the time – will only come back to bit us in the bum later.
It’s so so hard to deal with the loss of a loved one and I can only imagine what you’re going through right now. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Do you have any friends or family you could speak to?
It’s about just taking one day at a time.
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Have you got any friends or family you could talk to instead of a counsellor maybe?
For me what helped was just talking over and over and over about it until I couldn’t talk anymore. Friends will listen to the same thing a million times and not mind.
The firsts are always hard too – first Christmas, first birthday etc.
You are strong enough to get through though.
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I lost a lot of my friends during my relationship.I was too focused on them. I fell madly in love with them so fast and I was adidcted to them. Still am.
I have a couple I speak to about it but they have their own problems and I don’t want to put mine into them.
I thought I was getting better, I was just angry at everything, I was managing to focus on other things. It wasnt until someone asked if I was single and I didn’t know how to answer it, then all the feeling came back. If that makes sense.
Since they have past, I’ve had their birthday, our anniversary. Christmas will be the worst. It was something be both loved.
Thank you both for replying to this.
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This is so hard to deal with. My first boyfriend died and it took me a long time to get over it all. It still makes me a little sad but that’s normal I think.
Have you had any more therapy since? The only thing that helped me long term was talking to my shrink and friends. Even though like you a lot of them left me in the process.
Hope things are a bit easier for you now
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